Somedays are harder than others!
This morning I was reading on all the different blogs. Trying to get a better understanding on all that is going on with the adoption process. It seems to be a mountain ahead and a really big one at that. I know that each step is one of prayer.
It seems a fine line to walk daily. I have fallen in love with a baby that is so far away. My entire family has fallen in love. Sydney does not understand time and therefore yesterday she was saying "Mom she is not comming!!" I asked her please so not say that!
We have to have that longing in our heart. I believe that it is necessary for have that emotion to pray and wage in the war. BUT if you go too far then the longing hurts and it feels like pain and NOT Fair. You can not let the spirit of fear come in because that is just an attack.
Reading so many of the different blogs. We are all in a war for these children. So many different problems from lost papers to just simply nothing going on! Being at a stand still. I think being human we all look to see how far or where others are in the process to gage where we should be. Sometimes I feel that I do not understand why I am being told that I have to wait to go see our little Hannah when others have gone or are going and they were obviously not told to wait.
It is hard to want to know how your baby is doing. When will things start in her process and not get a reply.
In all I know that we are all in a process of learning something different from God. He is ruler and in control of all things.
Sometimes I wish for a glimps of what he sees.
Today while praying God really let me know that I am not allone. There are so many in the same WAR.
We must win! We have God on our side.


What is happening today is part of a larger process!!
lynette

Better to Love God and die unknown
than to love the world and be a hero
Better to be content with poverty
than to die a slave to wealth
Better to have Taken some risks and lost
than to have done nothing and succeeded at it

E Lutzer
I love different quotes if you come to my house
you will find them written down all over. It is like treasures
left everywhere and they are found at just the right moment.

Our Dossier!

Our dossier is in Haiti and waiting for pick it up!!
Thanks for your prayers it made it.
Now the process gets started for Hannah.
I created a list of things that need to happen. As we get the approvals I will post them completed to let you all know where we are at!!

Most of all I trust God in all that needs to happen!

THANK YOU!

Lord thank you that you go before me
thank you that you know where today is leading me
thank you that you are in control
thank you that you will not give me more than I can handle
thank you for speaking to me....
thank you for the awesome family that I have
Thank you for an amazing husband
thank you for being our provider
thank you for allowing me to lean on you
Oh lord thank you for your word!!
Thank you that ALL things work together for good
thank you that you will never leave me or forsake me
Thank you for giving me the desires of my heart
thank you that your love is everlasting
thank you that we are more than conquerors!
Lord thank you that I am forgivin!

Father I thank you that your favor is comming in a new way. Your favor is opening doors that men say are impossible to open.
I thank you for preparing the way!
In Jesus mighty name!
Amen

Lord I will take every thought captive to the obedience of christ
2 corinthians 10:5

pictures of Love

I know without a doubt that someday these pictures will be treasure!! We feel so blessed to have a missionary to take them for us. Hannah with her family. They really do love her but baby #12 is just too much to feed.
They are learning that us Americans like to smile for the camera. I am so happy that they understand that we will give baby Hannah the very best. Right now the missionary has been in the states and I was able to send a couple of little dresses. When she gets back to Haiti she is going to take more pictures for me. I cant believe that I will get pictures of her in something that I picked out!!! You know we named Hannah as well and the family calls her by a name that we gave her. Amazing.
To explain a little why the family has her it was suggested that the mother nurse her a little while to get her off to a good start. It was really sad to hear that after she took Hannah is was not nursing. She said that she did not nurse any of her 12 children. How sad...... The missionary wrote and told me that it is just a poor backward way of living. You would think that with no money they would at least think that nursing your child would save a little money. What is even more sad is that the mother could get her tubes tied for FREE! She wont because some woman told her that after she did it her back was in pain! She believes that the two are connected and will not do it. This family is very different in that all 12 of the children have the same mother and father. Something very rare.

You know I am getting to really learn a lot about this family. With all these pictures and the scrapbook that I am making, I look at the pictures and pray for each one of them. They have no idea how much our family really does care.

This same missionary is one that worked with my friend threw there adoption and we have many pictures of Haddassah before she came with her family. For some reason I felt it important that Hannah have the same. These girls will grow up together and we did not want one to have more from home than the other. God is SO good.

I look at her family and I want to help them so much.
some times we feel like we are adopting a family because we will never stop praying for them.

Maybe some day if God sees fit we will be able to meet them.

Threw this God is doing something big in my heart. I have a heart for Haiti and want to serve in any way I can.

Our story started like this

Last summer I will never forget the night my husband looked at me and said "Lets adopt!" I looked at him like are you crazy. I could not believe what just came out of his mouth. I said "UH NO" He laughed and asked "well then lets have another baby" I said "OH NO" and I cant. I got my tubes tied after having my last baby. After my last baby there is not possible way that I would ever in my right mind put myself through all that pain again. Everything hurt by the time I delievered baby number 4. I will never forget going to the hospital to get a little help to get me started and Kenny my husband asked "should we be doing this?" I started crying and said "oh yes we should!"
I love all my kids with all my heart. My oldest is 18 Kristy Lynn, 16 about to be 17 Benjamin Michael, 11 about to be 12 Dillon Ronald, then the little one 4 Sydney Mae.
I am a stay at homw home. I love being free to spend the day doing what ever the lord leads me to do. My husband and I are owners of a 80 foot fishing vessel. He is the captain and has two crew. God in part of his masterful plan helped us purchase the boat in November of 2006. It was cool. We named the boat "GOD'S WILL". It is funny because people would tell my husband "Don't you know that it is bad luck to change the name of a boat?" He would laugh and say "hanven't you figured it out that I am not a believer of LUCK"
We are Jesus lovin people. God came into our lives about 9 years ago. Transformed our family completely. I would not want to live a day without God in my life. He is the very essance of who we are.
I t was in september of last year that I went on a womens retreat. God spoke into my heart about adoption and I could not wait to get home to tell Kenny what had happened while I was away.
I told him the news and his reply was "Cool" " start looking into it"

At first we thought that it was China that God was wanting. I had no idea how one little girl would change everything for us. Some dear friends that we go to church with just adopted from Haiti. I remember praying for them and honestly wondering if ever they would get a child. I would ask how things were going for them and it was always something!!! I dont know how at times they did it. Then the day came I remember at church when I stoped her and she said that she had been up late the night before planning and buying the plane tickets for a lady named Barb and the baby to make the travel to portland! I remember that God spoke to me. "This is a miracle!!!" I wanted to cry for her.
Soon after comming home from the retreat I told my friend that I was feeling like God wanted us to adopt. She was excited for us. We began to email back and forth. She was great to get me started.
At the time our church was planning a big Harvest party. We have a great church family and a lot of fun together. I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT NIGHT. This little sweet thing, new to all these people, came to me and gave me the biggest hug. I could not explain only that it was from God. I have never had another child every give me that kind of hug before. Through the night we played games and had a great time. I just kept watching her. She was so beautiful. I watched my husband interact with her. God was showing me something awesome. On the way home I could not get her off my mind. The next day I was on my way to town when God spoke to me "HAITI FOR HADDASSAH!"
I could not wait to tell Kenny. I did and he thought cool. Yea we can do that. This little girl will have a person in our little town from the same place. OK> Well I really wanted to talk to my friend to see how she felt. I was happy that she was happy too. So she gave me the information for Reach Out to Haiti. I recieved an application October 17 2007. Looking at the application I was really overwhelmed. I do not like paperwork. Lord help me now. Honestly it took me a couple of weeks to really look it over and make a plan on what to tackle first.

I got things going and well christmas went by. Febuary went by. I really started getting ants in my pants. I asked my friend about getting assigned a child and she just assured me Gods timming would be perfect. I kept telling God "OK Lord, why are others getting assigned children soon after there applications and we just are not." We are getting pretty far in the paper work. It seemd as if when I would email Barb she really did not know who I was. I tell you I was not getting it!! But we will just keep pushing on. Then one day at church my friend came to me and told me that Haddassah's mother was going to have another baby. WOW> what would this mean??? We really did not know. We fould this out from a missionary that lives near the family. She, the mother did not want the baby because she was not going to be able to feed her. We felt lead strongly to email Barb to let her know all that we learned. It did not take long and the connection was made. Barb took her to have a ultrasound and it was a baby girl. WOW> God is AWESOME!! Haiti for Haddassah and it is a SISTER!! I think that my friend and I were blown away. There was a big reason our applicaion was missplaced for a long time. I know in my heart that we would have been assigned a child and it would not have been the right one! So God being who he is had to have a paper missplaced for the right time.
Soon after we were asked what name we would want to give the baby? She was due any time. My littlest one Sydney and I had chosen Hannah and a friend of mine chose Faith and there is was Hannah Faith. I emailed right away. I tell you the next morning I recieved the email from Barb. Hannah Faith was born March 13 and 3:00 in the afternoon. I yelled shes here!! Honey she is here! My husband did not have a clue. When I explained he was excited too. I had no idea the emotion that I would feel. It was a burst of the mother in me that said "I need her NOW!" Oh boy, God had a lot of work to do with me for the next couple of weeks. What do you do with all this emotion. All I thought about was Hannah. I just wanted to see her. I just want to hold her. We want to love her. And we can't. All we can do is pray. Oh I feel blessed to pray for her. Now we finally have something to work for.
Well many things in the last couple of weeks have had to be rearranged in my head. God loves my baby Hannah MORE than I do. He wants the very best for her. God wants her to be a part of this family. I have had to put it in the right perspective. God has to do this. I simply can not. With all my might I can not. BUT I , we can pray.
I remember one night getting a really difficult email from Barb. She is sweet, short and to the point. "You know this is going to be a gamble" she wrote. Oh, I had to call my friend for some encouragement. What do you mean GAMBLE> I am not a gambler!! Well Lord you have some work to do here. God sure has been good to keep things hidden until the right moment to show me a clear picture. This process is hard, but I can give it to God. Now it is time to put into practice what all these 9 years have been for. Training the Lords way. Sometimes he gives us difficult tasks but he promises never to give us more than we can handle.

Some time ago the Lord spoke to me and told me to write down all that he had become to me.
I Wrote.
He is my Father
He is my Mother
He is my Lord
He is my King
my provider
my protection
my deliverer
HE IS IN CONTROL
I TRUST him completely
my teacher
His Grace is enough for me
His love penetrates
FEAR NOT for he is with me
He is MY strength
He goes before me
and now I know that he is going to teach me that he is FAITHFULL

This is our journey of Love. This will be a battle we must fight in the spirit realm. My must pray without ceasing. We must claim these children as children of God. They have been chosen for a purpose.
God has given us so much evidence that he is charge and it is part of a much bigger plan.

Gods love!!!